My fears...

I have always pictured myself as a mom. When Hub and I got married he knew children were part of the equation. He was never as sure about children.

When we began to plan for a baby...because I PLAN everything!! I told him that I really wanted a daughter. Nothing against sons, my sister-in-law, she only wanted boys...me, I wanted a daughter. I wanted to share girlie things, prom, her wedding...it's just not the same with a boy.

I also thought April would be a great month to have a baby. We lived in Massachusetts, so by April the chance of snow is slim and spring is definitely on the horizon. We wouldn't have to bundle a brand new baby like an Eskimo against New England winters.

Bug, 1 year

I had my precious girl...in April! I have been crazy in love since! She is everything I could have imagined. She was blessed with my temperament which isn't always easy, but she also has my fine curly hair and I all ready own a hair straightener!

Fast forward 9+ years! She's entering fourth grade and is more tween then little girl. When did that happen?? Bug, 9-1/2 years

I'm a social worker and as such I really try to stay up on teen trends because I work with teens and honestly they have always been my passion. Today I learned of two new trends...1) Oral Sex is the new Goodnight Kiss and 2) Self-mutilation moves onto Embedding objects.

I know realistically that Bug is not likely to self-mutilate or embed objects beneath her skin, but it still scares me that it's out there and that there is a very good chance she will know and care about someone who does. What is Embedding? It's when a person who is in so much emotional pain and does not have a way to mitigate or cope with these feelings so they look for a physical outlet. Cutting is a physical outlet and now embedding where the person actually puts objects under the skin...eye glass screws, lead, paper clips, safety pins, etc. Google it, you'll see x-rays.

The "oral sex" thing scares me more. I KNOW kids don't think oral sex is "sex"...Thank you President Clinton! I have spoken with several teen girls myself. They consider themselves virgins if they are only having oral sex. There is no reciprocation...only girls performing for the boys. Girls perform oral sex in groups at school, at parties, on the bus...no where is safe! Girls are realizing they aren't getting any enjoyment, so they are now being paid with money, gifts or homework, etc. Girls doing this "exchange" don't see themselves as prostitutes because they are not out on the street! It's just a give and take, an "exchange"! Very scary!! Google "Oral Sex is the new Goodnight Kiss", but be prepared...it's graphic, not visually but the content.

So, I have this beautiful, sensitive, caring, sweet, loving, special girl...and I want to handcuff myself to her for the next 15 years! That should help her popularity! :)

My message...if you have children please keep up on the trends...and be involved, VERY involved. Be open and communicate with your child. If you aren't comfortable talking about sex stuff, get comfortable or find someone who is who can be a safe person with accurate information and similar values. Your child's health and well-being DEPENDS on it!

Bug and I, Nov 2009